Bad Day

So, it's been awhile. I go back and forth between babying and abandoning this blog. And I am just having a bad day.

Most of it, is just that I am in a bad mood. It's difficult to be in a good mood when the person you live with is always in a bad mood. And it's difficult to be in a good mood when you feel like your life is crumbling all around you. Nothing goes as planned anymore, and I am not sure how much more of it I can take. And on a bad day, it's just the icing on the cake when your children decide not to listen, not even once.

I have to go back to work next week. The cheer season is going to be starting up full swing. But I am stuck in a bad position. I have to be at practices, but I also have to drive Adam to and from work each day and to and from Fort Wayne twice a week. So, I am either going to have to quit coaching, or Adam is going to have to quit his job. Neither is a good situation. I can't be in two places at once. And I am getting seriously stressed about it. I don't know what to do.

I talked to a lady from Headstart....it's basically the preschool for the needy. And we are in strong need of this program. The school I want to send Alex to, we can't afford. But I was told that Heacstart will base qualification off of our last year of income. Well, if they do that, then we won't qualify. Why do they base it off of what we were making a year ago?? We don't have that income any longer, we barely make more than half of what we were making a year ago. So we will not be able to send Alex there, and can not afford to send him to a different preschool. I can not afford daycare for Alex while I am working next year either....we are in quite a pickle.

And it's all I think about all the time. I am stressed, and it just seems there's not a damn thing I can do. I snap at the kids. And the kids misbehave, so I snap at them even more. Just at my wits end.

Crazy weekend!

It has been a crazy weekend/beginning of week!

On Friday, I took the kids to the pool, they had so much fun as usual. And I took the opportunity to sit and chat with a friend I ran into. I am so glad the kids are both old enough to be in the pool and not need me hovering over them the entire time (don't worry, I still kept a very watchful eye on them both)!!

 Meanwhile, a huge storm front rolled in, so we had to leave. What happened next didn't seem like much at the time. We packed up and went home. I learned later on that the tip of the storm is all that hit our rinky dink town, but further south...chaos ensued. I massive storm went through that still (4 days later) has left friends without power and have forced many out of their homes until the threat of downed power lines can be neutralized. This is hard for me to imagine going through with temps in high 90's and low 100's.

Saturday, I went to the lake with the fam! It was fun and exhausting at the same time. We left in the morning and spent the entire day fishing, swimming, boat riding...but best of all, hanging out with family. However, I would say my favorite memory of the day was taking each of the kids kayaking. They loved it, and I got a great upper body workout!!

Sunday was actually pretty uneventful until later in the evening. My mom wasn't feeling well (she had been in the hospital earlier in the week). She had many symptoms of a heart attack, so I went to the ER with her and her fiance. The ER doc ran some tests and determined that she was NOT having a heart attack, but was kind of stumped as to what was causing all of her problems. SO he admitted her for the night. The kids and I went up to visit her on Monday, and they had a blast. My kids are weird like that and really love hospitals. But I can't blame them when our hospital has a totally awesome (and relatively unused) play area for kids. Anyhow...We think they finally figured out what was wrong my mom, and have it under control. She seems to be feeling MUCH better today. :)

A plus about today....I got to help watch my little teeny tiny brand new 2 month old baby niece. While mama took a nap since she had to work third shift.

I am hoping for an uneventful tomorrow; however, as I sit here I am remembering more items on the to-do list. Maybe I can find some time to incorporate a few things from our Bucket List.

We have no plans for the holiday, but I hope you all enjoy your holiday! What are your plans? Any fun traditions?

Enjoy your week and please keep those without electricity or access to their homes in your thoughts!

Bucket List

Without going into details right now (mostly because I want to write about something different), things are looking up for me and my family :) So thank you to everyone for your kind comments and generosity! You all have really helped to lift my spirits! XOXOXO

Sooo....
I have realized something recently....Summer is going by way too quickly! For some of my friends, they are just entering their summer break. But I have relaxed into that comfy spot on the summer sofa. The spot that is lightly wore in, the arm pillows are propping me up nicely, I even have a little foot stool to prop my feet on, and the warm summer sunlight is spilling through the window and warming my skin in the chilly air conditioned air.. Yes, I am talking about the two week mark (it's not actually here yet, I am two days early, but who's actually counting). We have quickly fallen out of our morning routines, and staying up late seems like nothing new. We are quite comfortable with where we are in summer break. It's that point in summer break where I am deliriously happy that break has finally arrived yet it feels like we have the entire summer to look forward to. WRONG!!!

That's the problem with the summer sofa. It wants you to feel cozy as if you have all the time in the world to spare. And then before you know it, it's two weeks until the start of the school year and we are running around like mad men trying to get ourselves organized for the school year...shopping for schools clothes, new kicks, and school supplies. And then that dreaded first day arrives. Well, it's not entirely dreaded as the kids still get uber excited about school...but I dread it because I am NOT a morning person by any means. If I were childless, I would be perfectly happy working 2nd shift, staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning, then sleeping until 2pm every day. But I DO have children, so sadly, I have to deal with early morning wake up calls. My SAHM days are a thing of the past, but at least I still have my summers. For me, summer is about sleeping in as late as the kids will possibly allow (usually 7:45), staying in my pajamas, until at least 1pm, and letting the kids stay up as late I can tolerate in hopes they'll let me sleep in longer in the morning (yeah right lady, in your dreams!!).

Anyhow, in honor of Summer being "nearly" over. I have decided to copycat some of my fellow bloggers and create a summer bucket list. And since I am one of those people who hates lists and finds them completely overwhelming...I [naturally] put a few things a top the list that I/we have already accomplished :)

: make homemade ice cream
: go on a bike ride (x2000)
: water balloon fight
: play in the sprinkler
: fly a kite
: wash our car by hand (a favorite of my kids)
: play at these parks/playgrounds at least twice
        - Moore Park
        - Washington playground
        - Imagination Station
        - Roseland Park
        - Lincoln playground
        - others that I don't know the names of...
: have a picnic at a park
: go camping (even if it's just in the back yard)
: make s'mores
: go fishing
: play at the pool
: swim in a lake
: PAINT with sidewalk chalk
: make our own Trunki Town
: visit the winery
: run in another 5k
: re-finish the antique desk I purchased at Goodwill (it will be awesomeness)
: garage sale
: lemonade stand at garage sale
: go "garage sale-ing"
: let the kids have a living room slumber party
: go to the library!!
: have a tie dye party with the kids and their friends!
: Zoo trip
: go bowling
: go to a Drive-In theater (sadly, I have never been to one and hear it's amazing, so we MUST go...this one should really be at the top of the list!)

Some of these are just for me, but most are for the kids and I to do together. I don't even care if cross everything off the bucket list, but it's nice to have a list of things to do and try our best to do as much as we can. When school starts back up, the kids will look back and think (hopefully) Wow! What a great summer this was!

So get off the summer sofa, join me, and make a Summer Bucket List!! If you've already made one, or have ideas to share, please add them in the comments!

Enjoy!!
Rebekah

My favorite park!

Yesterday I decided to take a break from all of the stress.

And I took the kids to a park that we haven't been to in a long time, let them run around, and snapped a few photos. It was definitely the break I needed. (Them too, I am sure!)

They played at the park for awhile, but then Kaetlyn saw the "climbing tree" (that's what I call it). We spent the rest of the time playing on the climbing tree. It's a magnificent tree, and if they ever cut it down, I will be very sad! It's perfect to play in, on, under, and around, and especially perfect for cautious kids like my own. I remember playing on it when I was not much older than Kaetlyn is now.

And this is my favorite photo of Alex. He sat there for quite awhile, I think he might like the tree as much as I do!

We have a few parks where we live, but none are as glorious as this one... It's kind of hidden, so I think even most of the people that live here don't know about this park. It's really quiet, with lots of space, and great for the old and young alike.

My favorite part is just watching the kids be kids.

Do you have a favorite park? And what are you best memories of playing with your children at a park/playground?

So Far, So Good

Today I implemented the new chore chart. All I can say is that I am AMAZED!!! And I actually feel a little guilty since I haven't had to lift a finger. I explained the "Uh Oh Basket" to the kids and how it works. and I explained their new chores to them. Let's just say that they zoomed through a majority of their chores in about 30 minutes. Also, the Uh Oh Basket is working out really well. Several toys have gone in the basket, and several toys have been rescued by completing chores.

In addition to their daily chores, they also decided today to make their own lunch AND K washed the dishes while A dried them. I only had to put them away.

I know this won't last forever, eventually these chores will seem like as much of a nuisance to them as my chores did (and still do) seem to me. But right now, I am basking in it!

Anyhow, here is the Uh Oh Basket and their chore charts, again, completely stolen from Just Another Day in Paradise.

If you're interested in this idea, let me know and I will give you a list of the chores I used for the   Uh Oh Basket...I had to get REALLY creative as they couldn't be any of the same chores that were also daily chores. It took a lot of thinking, but I think I came up with a pretty good list.

Enjoy!!

xoxo Rebekah

surgery

My baby is having surgery tomorrow and my stomach is already doing somersaults! I know everything will be alright. According to the Encyclopedia of Surgery death from a tonsillectomy is very uncommon and about one in every 15,000 tonsillectomies ends in death usually from anesthesia or post operative bleeding....BUT it's the anesthesia that scares me! The truth is, you can't really tell how a person will react to anesthesia until after the fact, and that's scary to me. They could administer the anesthesia to him and he could NEVER wake up! But I am trying not to dwell on that too much, and am trying to focus, instead, on how I am going to keep him relaxing for the two weeks following his surgery. Too much activity is the leading factor in heavy post-op bleeding, and my bug is a very active 2 year old. I can see myself making a small investment into cars movies and easy craft projects geared for toddlers....whatever it takes! <3

No energy

Today, I have felt completely drained. I think it's because I have a lot on my mind as there are a lot of aspects of my life that will be changing soon...and thinking about it all of the time is wearing me out.

My mom has allowed us to live with her for the past two years (THANK YOU MOM), and we have done this for two reasons. 1) With Adam being in Japan, cost of living is too high for us to live seperately and still be able to afford the basics like housing and all the extra stuff that goes along with it, and 2) Adam is in Japan, I hate living alone!

I am currently "looking" for a different place to live as we have definitely overstayed our welcome(we were only suppose to be here for about 3-6 months, tops), and when my mom and her fiance move into their new house I don't want to invite myself along. The problem is, with Adam in Japan, we can't afford it! The other problem, another reason I am stressing out, is that he is supposed to be getting out of the Army soon. We are suppose to receive all sorts of benefits which will be helpful with paying bills, but I know how the Army is...we probably won't start receiving those benefits for several month if we're lucky! And jobs are slim-pickin's around here. I have been searching for a job for over a year now without any luck. So, I don't know how I am suppose to find a house to rent or buy without a job, and I obviously can't afford it without one either.

SO....I think this is some of what has been wearing me out. I think about it constantly. I napped a lot today, so hopefully that'll help restore some of my energy that I need for the rest of the week, but I didn't get much done today. I did fold a load of laundry, but it's still on my bed and I don't know if I have the energy to clear it off before I go to sleep! ha ha

I will keep trucking along, and hopefully I will find a lead on a job that'll be a perfect fit for me and my other responsibilities (kids, coaching, school)...but then I will be exhausted physically rather than mentally! ha ha

Easter

The Easter bunny hopped into our house and was out like a flash! My kids sure will be happy campers in the morning when they wake up! K has been asking me for an electronic journal for nearly 2 years now, so she'll be happy to see the Easter bunny left one for her. And A has been asking for a particular green semi truck for a few months, and guess what!? The Easter bunny left one of those for him! :)

We got this new type of easter egg dye for coloring eggs this year, and I was hesitant about buying them. There were gobs and gobs sitting on the shelf while all the old school cups with dye tablets were almost cleaned out. But I have to say that I LOVED them! They look like q-tips and when you break one end, the dye falls to the other end, and then you basically paint with them. The only mess my kids made with them was that they got some of the dye on their fingers, but I didn't have to lay out newspaper, and there was no dipping, spilling, or staining. And they were cheap at 97c a pack! One pack colors at least a dozen eggs, and there was still enough dye left for painting after we were done.

I am a little bummed that there are no Easter dinners or gatherings to go to tomorrow. I am used to going to Church with my in-laws, and then there's usually a dinner somewhere to attend. But not this year.... I always get excited about dressing the kids up, and hanging out with adults! They are adults I don't generally have much in common with, and most aren't anywhere near my age, but still...it's adult interaction! Oh well, we'll make the best of tomorrow. Actually, the kids probably won't mind not being drug from one place to another...

I know that Easter isn't about dinners, or cute dresses, or Easter bunnies, but it's the tradition that my family and I are use to. I do not come from a very religious family, so we don't normally take the time to remember the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. But this Easter, amongst all the chaos of hunting for Easter eggs and eating Jelly beans, I will find the time to talk to K and A about His sacrifice, to take the time to explain the true meaning of Easter. And maybe by talking about the true meaning, we'll begin a new tradition of rejoicing in the sacrifice of Jesus.

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!! <3

another sleepless night

I am trying to type this on my phone while I lay in bed with my son who is still having difficulties breathing, sorry in advance for any typos!. I am so glad he has a doctor's appointment in the morning. I can't sleep listening to him struggle to breath. I feel like I need to stay awake just so I can be sure he doesn't stop breathing. Last night, I got a total of 2 hours of sleep and it seems tonight isn't going to be any different. I am hoping this doctor he will be seeing can provide some relief for my little guy, he sure could use it!

E.R.

My little bug has been sick lately. His tonsils are huge, and his glands in his throat are really swollen. His doctor told us that it was NOTHING to worry about. He never did any sort of culture to determine what might be causing it OR just to rule anything out. I listened to him and gave Alex the medicine prescribed. The End.....

...Or so I thought. This morning Alex woke me up unusually early. He wasn't feeling well, kind of feverish, and was very grumpy. Nothing I did was ok. He wanted to cuddle, but any body contact between the two of us...unacceptable. He wanted to watch cartoons, but none of the cartoons were what he wanted to watch. He wanted apple juice, but we only had grape cranberry...unacceptable.

Anyhow, the day goes on, and I called the doctor to see if I should take him in because I thought his swelling was getting worse. They say no. So I went about my day, and went to a work related meeting that had been scheduled for awhile. When I came home, my mom (she watched the kids for me during my meeting) said that Alex was struggling to breath. So I ended up taking him to the E.R. :( After quite awhile of waiting(at this time his breathing had improved a bit), the doctor came over and looked at Alex's tonsils. After one look, he said that Alex definitely has strep throat. Poor kid. They damn near shoved a cotton swab down his throat to collect the bacteria for a culture just to be certain. And they came back with two HUGE needles to give him a huge dose of antibiotics. It broke my heart to see him cry like that :(

Then the nurse came back with a Popsicle for him since we had to wait a half an hour before leaving. He was much happier then :)

The staff was so friendly and helpful. And they did not make me feel at all like an overprotective mom for taking him in for a "sore throat"...which, I have to be honest, I was expecting to be treated like I wasting their time. They were great with the kids (the nurse even brought them some chocolate covered marshmallows...shh, don't tell!), and answered my questions and definitely made me feel like I had their full attention. I was also surprised by that as they were very busy (lots of patients) and only had one on call doctor.

Now, the kids are in bed sleeping...thankfully. That's where I am headed, too. :)