Bad Mommy Moment

I had quite a scare yesterday and it was definitely a "bad mommy" moment...

I was visiting at a friend's house and she has a son that is almost 5 but is nearly the same size as my two year old so I guess they think they're the same age and LOVE to play together. Usually when we go over there the two of them hop in the power wheels and ride and ride and ride...I would like to say they ride until the battery is dead, but not sure this is true. Sometimes they ride to the front yard, but my friend's son always swings back around to the back yard straight away so I allow it, but I always tell him not to let Alex drive because I am afraid that he'll drive into the street. I was sitting at the patio table chatting with a couple of friends when I realized all of a sudden that it was entirely too quiet. I knew they had gone to the front yard but usually hear the little John Deer zooming back to the rear of the house within seconds... So I got up and bolted to the front yard (my friend's son was headed to the back yard to alert me Alex was driving away) And I found Alex happily driving nearly ONE BLOCK AWAY!!! I started running toward him and was screaming for him to stop. To my surprise he listened, but I think it's only because he's never heard me screaming frantically like that before...it probably startled him. He managed to cross the street, but thankfully it was at a stop sign and he was not hurt!!! I yelled at him not to ever take off like that again, and he is no longer allowed to drive OR ride in the power wheels EVER!

Aside from the frantic screaming, I wasn't too hard on him because he is only 2, and it was my fault, not his. But I wanted to share my "bad mommy" moment so that you all can learn from MY mistake. I am very thankful nothing bad happened, but will be more cautious and vigilant in keeping an eye on him at all times. I usually am VERY watchful over him, but it just goes to show that letting your guard down for even a moment can lead to potentially devastating situations with irreversible consequences.

growing up so fast!!

Today my daughter shared some VERY exciting news with me. When she got home from school, she pulled me close and whispered into my ear. Not sure why she was whispering into my ear because it wasn't a secret...maybe she was whispering because she was so excited?? Anyhow, she said, "Mommy, in a couple weeks I get to eat lunch at school to practice for first grade!!". At first I was amused by the joy she got from this. Clearly, she felt grown up and excited to be doing something the "big" kids get to do. That's when it hit me, my baby, my first born, my sweet little girl is going to be in first grade next year! It made me realize how quickly time has gone by and that I need to do a better job at savoring the moment. I spend a lot of time rushing from one moment to the next, and haven't really taken the time to enjoy the fact that in this last year alone Kaetlyn has learned to read, write in sentences, tie her shoes (learned this skill on her own), add and subtract, navigate her way through rocky friendships, lost her first two teeth (about to lose two more!), has gained so much confidence, and overall has become a much more independent young lady. And while I couldn't be more proud of her, I wish I could go back in time to be able to enjoy everything at a slower pace!!!

glasses

Somewhere between 2 and 2 1/2 years ago I went in for an eye exam (first in years) and was told I had astigmatism and would benefit from wearing glasses. So I bought my first ever specs, in fact, I purchased two pairs because I remember the luck my husband had with glasses. He would walk along and a lens would pop out, or as a baby, K would tug on them and rip them off his face and slobber all over them with her cute baby slobber. It turns out that I haven't needed to wear them hardly ever! Sure, there were times I could have used them, driving at night, for instance;however, I never had them with me, because they were always hanging on the lamp shade of the lamp that sits on the side table next to my bed....they sure did me a lot of good there, huh?? The problem with them is that I can't stand how they feel on my nose, and everytime my eyes itch, I forget that I have glasses on and end up punching the glasses into my face as I try to rub my eyes.

Well, suddenly tonight, I HAD to wear them. My eyes became very blurry, and I could hardly read the tv screen without them. Major bummer because I hate wearing them, and feel I look awfully dorky...like a total "four eyes"! ha ha

Anyhow, my first thought after putting them on was that since my eyes are officially "bad", my kids are screwed! Adam had glasses his whole life until he had lasik, and now I NEED them. Poor kids! I hate that as parents we pass on all of our bad genes to our unsuspecting children, and we have no control over it. It's like sneaking up behind them while they are innocently playing with their toys and scaring the pants off of them...THAT would probably causes less damage than the teasing glasses or braces would bring to the psyche. I suppose the glasses and braces, among other things, are what creates character...my kids sure seem to be destined to be blessed in that area! ha ha Good Luck K & A! <3

SO happy!

Alex's surgery went without a hitch today!

He did not want to wear the hospital jammies, in fact he threw a fit about it. I can't say I blame him, I wouldn't want to wear scratchy pajamas with PINK dinos, elephants, and whales! I mean, come on! You can't tell me they don't have blue for boys... Then his sedative started to kick in and he was able to relax....

Watching the nurse wheel him away was difficult, but I was so glad my mom was there with me. Whether she realizes it or not, she really helped me out a lot today. :) I couldn't have gotten through today without her. AND my sister who drove to our house at the butt crack of dawn with her 7 month old to watch K. :)

After he was finished in recovery, he was brought back to his room where he freaked out, mostly about the IV, but he quickly fell asleep and was in a great mood once he woke up! When we got home he was going full force the rest of the day, antagonizing and wrestling with his sister and....EATING!

He packed away a lot of food today! Aside from the hospital food, he ate: applesauce, banana, pasta salad, mandarin oranges, cookies, chips(against my best attempts to deter him to a different food), pasta salad again, and of course he was hungry for eggs. He BEGGED me to make eggs for him, and then he begged me to let him help(which I did under close supervision).

Another plus about today; Alex got a TON of new toys and activity type things from some of his favorite family members....toys that were purchased to keep him resting while he's recovering as he's not suppose to be up and running around. Hopefully tomorrow he lays around a bit more.

So glad today is over as it was a long and stressful day. And here's to hoping his recovery isn't as rough as I hear it's suppose to be, but time will tell.

surgery

My baby is having surgery tomorrow and my stomach is already doing somersaults! I know everything will be alright. According to the Encyclopedia of Surgery death from a tonsillectomy is very uncommon and about one in every 15,000 tonsillectomies ends in death usually from anesthesia or post operative bleeding....BUT it's the anesthesia that scares me! The truth is, you can't really tell how a person will react to anesthesia until after the fact, and that's scary to me. They could administer the anesthesia to him and he could NEVER wake up! But I am trying not to dwell on that too much, and am trying to focus, instead, on how I am going to keep him relaxing for the two weeks following his surgery. Too much activity is the leading factor in heavy post-op bleeding, and my bug is a very active 2 year old. I can see myself making a small investment into cars movies and easy craft projects geared for toddlers....whatever it takes! <3

No energy

Today, I have felt completely drained. I think it's because I have a lot on my mind as there are a lot of aspects of my life that will be changing soon...and thinking about it all of the time is wearing me out.

My mom has allowed us to live with her for the past two years (THANK YOU MOM), and we have done this for two reasons. 1) With Adam being in Japan, cost of living is too high for us to live seperately and still be able to afford the basics like housing and all the extra stuff that goes along with it, and 2) Adam is in Japan, I hate living alone!

I am currently "looking" for a different place to live as we have definitely overstayed our welcome(we were only suppose to be here for about 3-6 months, tops), and when my mom and her fiance move into their new house I don't want to invite myself along. The problem is, with Adam in Japan, we can't afford it! The other problem, another reason I am stressing out, is that he is supposed to be getting out of the Army soon. We are suppose to receive all sorts of benefits which will be helpful with paying bills, but I know how the Army is...we probably won't start receiving those benefits for several month if we're lucky! And jobs are slim-pickin's around here. I have been searching for a job for over a year now without any luck. So, I don't know how I am suppose to find a house to rent or buy without a job, and I obviously can't afford it without one either.

SO....I think this is some of what has been wearing me out. I think about it constantly. I napped a lot today, so hopefully that'll help restore some of my energy that I need for the rest of the week, but I didn't get much done today. I did fold a load of laundry, but it's still on my bed and I don't know if I have the energy to clear it off before I go to sleep! ha ha

I will keep trucking along, and hopefully I will find a lead on a job that'll be a perfect fit for me and my other responsibilities (kids, coaching, school)...but then I will be exhausted physically rather than mentally! ha ha

Easter

The Easter bunny hopped into our house and was out like a flash! My kids sure will be happy campers in the morning when they wake up! K has been asking me for an electronic journal for nearly 2 years now, so she'll be happy to see the Easter bunny left one for her. And A has been asking for a particular green semi truck for a few months, and guess what!? The Easter bunny left one of those for him! :)

We got this new type of easter egg dye for coloring eggs this year, and I was hesitant about buying them. There were gobs and gobs sitting on the shelf while all the old school cups with dye tablets were almost cleaned out. But I have to say that I LOVED them! They look like q-tips and when you break one end, the dye falls to the other end, and then you basically paint with them. The only mess my kids made with them was that they got some of the dye on their fingers, but I didn't have to lay out newspaper, and there was no dipping, spilling, or staining. And they were cheap at 97c a pack! One pack colors at least a dozen eggs, and there was still enough dye left for painting after we were done.

I am a little bummed that there are no Easter dinners or gatherings to go to tomorrow. I am used to going to Church with my in-laws, and then there's usually a dinner somewhere to attend. But not this year.... I always get excited about dressing the kids up, and hanging out with adults! They are adults I don't generally have much in common with, and most aren't anywhere near my age, but still...it's adult interaction! Oh well, we'll make the best of tomorrow. Actually, the kids probably won't mind not being drug from one place to another...

I know that Easter isn't about dinners, or cute dresses, or Easter bunnies, but it's the tradition that my family and I are use to. I do not come from a very religious family, so we don't normally take the time to remember the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. But this Easter, amongst all the chaos of hunting for Easter eggs and eating Jelly beans, I will find the time to talk to K and A about His sacrifice, to take the time to explain the true meaning of Easter. And maybe by talking about the true meaning, we'll begin a new tradition of rejoicing in the sacrifice of Jesus.

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!! <3

Lemonade Mouth

I realized today that I spend way too much time around my kids and not enough time around living breathing adults. The way I came about this realization: I layed my kids down for bed, then crawled into my own bed and turned on the tube. What was my show of choice?? Lemonade Mouth on the Disney Channel. After I realized I had been watching it for nearly 30 minutes...I still didn't change it to a more adult show. Albeit, it wasn't a cartoon, but still...I don't have any interest in watching television geared towards adults...GEEZ, I am SO out of the loop.

It's difficult for me with my husband being overseas, we don't get the opportunity to enjoy each other's company. I usually watch tv. or work on other stuff that needs to be done. I really don't EVER have the opportunity to disconnect from being a mom and just be Rebekah.

So my question is...Are there any other mommies out there that spend way too much time with their kids? Are there any mommies that enjoy watching children's television programs? And to those moms who are NOT on the same page as me, what do you do to disconnect from being a mommy after lights out?

A little bit of sunshine

Sometimes I wish I didn't live in Ohio. I use to live in North Carolina and it wasn't bad, Florida wouldn't even be bad if it weren't for those pesky hurricanes. Where I live in Ohio just has sucky weather. Most people would say that Ohio has a mind of its own when it comes to the weather...I am sure it has something to do with it's position in relation to Canada and the Great Lakes. Anyhow, we have more days with perciptation and clouds than we do sunshine, and we techincally are in tornado alley.

One of my biggest gripes about Ohio's weather is that the temperatures jump around like crazy. Take this for instance....It's been spring for a few weeks now and a week ago we had snow flurries and lots of rain and clouds...today sunshine and 85 degrees. Tomorrow will be cold and rainy again. grrrrr....It's frustrating having to keep my kids drawers stuffed with winter AND spring clothes.

BUT the kids and I did get the opportunity to play outside for awhile to enjoy the lovely weather while it's here. And I actually remembered to take my camera out to snap a few photos (I generally do not take photos of anything....my hubby and I forgot to take our camera to our daughter's birth. We remembered to take the camera for our son's birth, but forgot to pur new batteries in it).

So enjoy a little bit of sunshine <3

A quick shot before I let them loose:)

This kid loves his car :)

Sidewalk chalk...

Of course we rode bikes....

and we picked flowers...

perhaps they're just weeds???

One of my favorite things about warm weather....cute kid feet in cute kid sandals :)

The money shot! Kaetlyn does NOT have her eyes closed, Alex is looking AT the camera, and they both have their favorite sweet treats.

It's been a long day. I couldn't sleep last night because I didn't feel well, and had to be up early for Kaetlyn's soccer game. And I haven't felt well at all today, in fact, I spent most of it sleeping. Yes, even though I spent most of the day sleeping...it was LONG! Probably because the kids spent the day fighting like cats and dogs. :)

Yesterday, I took Alex in for his follow up appointment from his emergency room visit. He couldn't see his regular doctor because he's out of town or something...who knows. I was happy about this since his doctor wasn't concerned about his tonsils to begin with. This new doctor was VERY concerned about Alex's poor swollen pus covered tonsils and sent us up to the ENT. The ENT had absolutely no available appointments for us yesterday, but squeezed us in between a couple of patients anyhow.....SO GRATEFUL!!!! He took one look at Alex's tonsils/adenoids and said that they have to come out. I am nervous about this, but think it will be good for him in the long run. AND he prescribed him a new medication to, in the meantime, get rid of the infection that...SURPRISE...is working!!!! Today Alex took a nap in the recliner and, for the first time in a month, was able to breath normally. No gasping for air, no weezing, no snoring. :)

I am beginning to prepare for his surgery. I know it's a month away, but I want to be prepared because I hear that the recovery can be difficult for children. One thing I am doing is learning some sign language and teaching Alex so he can easily communicate with me after his surgery and not have to worry about talking with a sore throat. He knows some sign language already because he was a late talker and I used to sign with him when he was a baby. He still uses the sign for "more" to this day. The signs I am learning mostly are "survival" signs. Thirsty, water, juice, eat, hungry, applesauce, soup, sleep, potty, hurt/pain. Hopefully he'll pick up on it like he use to. I also want to make some cute cold/warm packs for him to use on his throat and ears post-op. Something with cars or trains on them. :)

Anyhow, I feel as if I have come down with some sort of stomach bug. Hopefully, I begin feeling better soon, as in ASAP! I have to get some groceries tomorrow, but will not be venturing out of the house if my stomach is still doing somersaults in there!

another sleepless night

I am trying to type this on my phone while I lay in bed with my son who is still having difficulties breathing, sorry in advance for any typos!. I am so glad he has a doctor's appointment in the morning. I can't sleep listening to him struggle to breath. I feel like I need to stay awake just so I can be sure he doesn't stop breathing. Last night, I got a total of 2 hours of sleep and it seems tonight isn't going to be any different. I am hoping this doctor he will be seeing can provide some relief for my little guy, he sure could use it!

E.R.

My little bug has been sick lately. His tonsils are huge, and his glands in his throat are really swollen. His doctor told us that it was NOTHING to worry about. He never did any sort of culture to determine what might be causing it OR just to rule anything out. I listened to him and gave Alex the medicine prescribed. The End.....

...Or so I thought. This morning Alex woke me up unusually early. He wasn't feeling well, kind of feverish, and was very grumpy. Nothing I did was ok. He wanted to cuddle, but any body contact between the two of us...unacceptable. He wanted to watch cartoons, but none of the cartoons were what he wanted to watch. He wanted apple juice, but we only had grape cranberry...unacceptable.

Anyhow, the day goes on, and I called the doctor to see if I should take him in because I thought his swelling was getting worse. They say no. So I went about my day, and went to a work related meeting that had been scheduled for awhile. When I came home, my mom (she watched the kids for me during my meeting) said that Alex was struggling to breath. So I ended up taking him to the E.R. :( After quite awhile of waiting(at this time his breathing had improved a bit), the doctor came over and looked at Alex's tonsils. After one look, he said that Alex definitely has strep throat. Poor kid. They damn near shoved a cotton swab down his throat to collect the bacteria for a culture just to be certain. And they came back with two HUGE needles to give him a huge dose of antibiotics. It broke my heart to see him cry like that :(

Then the nurse came back with a Popsicle for him since we had to wait a half an hour before leaving. He was much happier then :)

The staff was so friendly and helpful. And they did not make me feel at all like an overprotective mom for taking him in for a "sore throat"...which, I have to be honest, I was expecting to be treated like I wasting their time. They were great with the kids (the nurse even brought them some chocolate covered marshmallows...shh, don't tell!), and answered my questions and definitely made me feel like I had their full attention. I was also surprised by that as they were very busy (lots of patients) and only had one on call doctor.

Now, the kids are in bed sleeping...thankfully. That's where I am headed, too. :)

Easter Craft

I have to admit that I wasn't going to post anything today...BUT...one of my favorite things to do is scour the internet for cool crafty blogs. One of my favorite blogs posted an awesome {almost free} Easter themed craft for kids and I just had to do this with my kiddos!

Materials consisted of paint chips, twine(the only thing I needed to buy), scissors, and a hole punch. You use the scissors to cut "eggs" out of the paint chips, punch a hole in each one and string it with twine to make garland.

It's definitely a project for older kids because Alex had no interest in helping at all. Kaetlyn even lost interest until it was time to hang them in her bedroom. In all honesty, she probably would have helped more, but I am a perfectionist and kept telling her that her eggs were too pointy....and we had to cut A LOT of eggs, her poor hands were probably tired.

Anyhow, here's the finished product!

Tape

So the kids were back to their usual antics today. Fighting over anything and everything, and Alex spent almost the entire day antagonizing Kaetlyn. Kicking her, turning off her television programs, teasing her with toys she forgot she had...

At one point, Alex was whining about something (I can't even recall what issue he was having), but he asked me for "booboos". This is what we have always called breastfeeding. I weaned him almost 4 months ago, and he hasn't asked to nurse once in the past 3 months. I felt so bad. I miss nursing him. I miss the bond, and I feel we are not as connected as we were when I breastfed. I so desperately wanted to give in and nurse him one last time, but I told him "no". I knew if I had given in I would be "un-weaning" him. He got over it, and I tried to cuddle him for a minute, after a few minutes life went on. Still, I am sad that I don't get to nurse him anymore.

Anyhow, it was a long day and tomorrow is back to school for Kaetlyn, so the kids went to bed at 7:30 tonight....I felt bad as it was still light out, but they must have been tired because it's been almost two hours and I haven't heard a peep out of either of them!

Before bed, Alex got a booboo. Not sure how, and I have to admit that it was an invisible booboo, but he "needed" a bandaid. I get a kick out of this, but he doesn't call them bandaids or bandages, he calls them tape! ha ha "mommy, Ally need tape booboo". :)

So, after getting his "tape", he was happy and ready for bed :)

Our un-Ridgway Day

Today was mojorly uneventful, and majorly un-chaotic....VERY unRidgway of us.

Normally there isn't much on our agenda, so our day-to-day life isn't generally chaotic in that manner. The chaos just happens...when we do anything. It takes us 1 hour to get dressed in the morning, 45 minutes to get out the door, 10 minutes to get into the car....that sort of chaos. And then there's always bickering among the kids, wrangling my son during soccer practice, spending half of our visit at grandma's in time out. This is the chaos I speak of...this is the (Ridg)way of life.

Today was weird. It was peaceful, mostly. It was a watch tv and be lazy kind of day. The day was not completely without wrangling my son at the soccer game or without bickering among the kids, but mostly, they got along. Today was the kind of day that I cherish. Today was the kind of day that I hope for when I wake up every morning, and even though this kind of day is few and far between, it's the kind of day that makes all the bad, crazy, and chaotic days just seem to melt away....at least until tomorrow.

The Ridgway of life....

It's like most others, but maybe more chaotic? I wish it weren't.

Today began with a doctor's appointment for my youngest, Alex. I took him in because his lymph nodes were swollen, and his doctor wasn't concerned about it at all. "Just give him Zyrtec", he says. Instead, he's more concerned that Alex is anemic. So we went to the lab to get his blood drawn. What a fiasco!!

The nurse drawing his blood is "new". Why have a new nurse draw blood from a 2 year old? Oh well. She couldn't find the vein in his left arm, so after fishing around with the needle for a good 30-60 seconds, another nurse takes over and finds it straight away. I am still not sure what happened, maybe I let go of Alex? Maybe the nurse let go of his arm? Regardless Alex jerked and the needle popped out. Great, so they had to try on the other arm. FINALLY!!! They got it, now I had to hold a screaming crying 2 year old still while they fill 3 tubes with his blood.

Poor kid...but he DID get 3 stickers out of it! Suddenly he's one happy kid :)

I found out later that he IS anemic, probably due to an infection. An infection (I am guessing) in the same lymph nodes his doctor wasn't concerned about, so we were prescribed some antibiotics.

Afterward, I had to rush home and make 3 t-shirts for our picture session at Sears. I made monogrammed T's for my daughter, my son, and my nephew. The plan was to have pictures taken for my mom for her birthday with all of her grand kids wearing alike outfits. But I always wait until last minute to do things like this, so I end up rushing, but they turned out really CUTE!

I spent the rest of my "free time" cooking and cleaning....BLAH!

Finally, time to get pictures taken. :) :) :) After a short session that felt like it lasted for hours because of my son who suddenly refused to cooperate (thank you a million to my daughter who was VERY cooperative and my nephew who was somewhat cooperative, however, I can't blame Alex after the morning he had), we got some amazing shots!! Very excited to give them to my mom!

My days are pretty crazy. My kids fight a lot, they never fail to make a spectacle in public, and sometimes make me want to pull out my hair. But then they have a moment like this....

....And I am reminded what life is all about <3