Bad Day

So, it's been awhile. I go back and forth between babying and abandoning this blog. And I am just having a bad day.

Most of it, is just that I am in a bad mood. It's difficult to be in a good mood when the person you live with is always in a bad mood. And it's difficult to be in a good mood when you feel like your life is crumbling all around you. Nothing goes as planned anymore, and I am not sure how much more of it I can take. And on a bad day, it's just the icing on the cake when your children decide not to listen, not even once.

I have to go back to work next week. The cheer season is going to be starting up full swing. But I am stuck in a bad position. I have to be at practices, but I also have to drive Adam to and from work each day and to and from Fort Wayne twice a week. So, I am either going to have to quit coaching, or Adam is going to have to quit his job. Neither is a good situation. I can't be in two places at once. And I am getting seriously stressed about it. I don't know what to do.

I talked to a lady from Headstart....it's basically the preschool for the needy. And we are in strong need of this program. The school I want to send Alex to, we can't afford. But I was told that Heacstart will base qualification off of our last year of income. Well, if they do that, then we won't qualify. Why do they base it off of what we were making a year ago?? We don't have that income any longer, we barely make more than half of what we were making a year ago. So we will not be able to send Alex there, and can not afford to send him to a different preschool. I can not afford daycare for Alex while I am working next year either....we are in quite a pickle.

And it's all I think about all the time. I am stressed, and it just seems there's not a damn thing I can do. I snap at the kids. And the kids misbehave, so I snap at them even more. Just at my wits end.